“If you stumble and fall don’t worry or give up just get up and move again cause its the falling that teaches all of us”
Shanghai has been an interesting and challenging time. The jet lag, constant noise, the pollution, the language barrier, having your atm card chewed up…….travel exhaustion really kicked in. Aside from the challenges travel presents a personal challenge for me is being around a group of people. Whilst these new friends are absolutely beautiful, being an introvert, I find being around large groups challenging at the best of times, let alone when it’s a group of new people and you’re already tired. I wanted to remove myself from the situation.I have also realised the past few months that I have a fear of connection. If I feel myself getting to connected to another person or feel that there could be a deeper connection I start to pull away. I wanted to get away from what was confronting for me. My old friends self doubt and fear decided to come for a visit.
After such a great time in the USA I was feeling inspired. The second morning in Shanghai I woke up at 4am from jet lag and made a great list of things I’m wanting to achieve. Of course as this happens my ego jumped up and tried to knock me down with old fears. But fear is not real, I love the anagram for fear False Evidence Appearing Real. Our fears may be based on past experience or projections into the future but they are not reality. Our fears are obstacles and they can overwhelm and cripple us if we allow them to. We have to look at our fears as well as our reaction to the without judgement, but with love and compassion.
We all stumble at times in our lives the key is to not get caught up in the blame/shame cycle, to not play the victim, and instead turn those stumbles stepping stones to a brighter future.
This isn’t always easy, my mind has been running around in circles and I’ve felt like crying, I’ve felt like screaming, I’ve felt like hiding under the covers until its all over. But I believe everything happens as an opportunity for us to evolve. I can cry, scream, try to hide or I can take my fear by the hand and walk forward into this new day with love.